I named this "thing" "Making Smarter Steps" partly because my intention was to offer new parents in a step family relationship some advice learned from my nearly 10 years as a divorced and step parent.
Divorced parents - be nice to each other as much as possible and get the conflict between you behind you as soon as possible. I have seen divorced parents work together and I have seen conflict-ridden divorced parents. The divorced couple that can work together and remain civil is much better off. It seems many times one (or both) ex-spouse(s) is/are simply unable to release the anger and bitterness after YEARS of being divorced. Their lives are apparently centered upon making the offending ex "PAY". All pay a price, but sadly the kids pay the largest.
Fifty percent of us are divorcing for many different reasons. Some divorce due to physical abuse, addiction to any number of things and mental cruelty. I understand that many times the reason for the divorce is beyond the control of one spouse or the other. However, for many, the "blame" for the divorce is shared by both spouses. This being the case, GET OVER IT!!!!! Go on with your lives and raise your kids. There is happiness out there - rather than wallowing in self-pity, go get happy!
I know first hand that the child support system in many states is set up as a "penalize the male spouse" system that is abused by attorneys and child support claimers. Money and child support payment is a primary wedge between ex's. The receiver does not have to account for the money and in many cases does not spend the money on the kids. Rather, they see the payments as being penalties the ex pays for daring to follow through with a divorce. Many child support payers are simply treated as ATM's that produce cash for the ex and then are trampled by the system. It is one of the many things about divorce and child support that are wrong.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Who is really telling the truth?
I have never witnessed a time when there was so much mis-information being bandied about the US and world media. What and who can you really believe? For instance, there is a story today about the Nicaraguan president being ousted in a coup. President Obama and many other leaders in the western world are calling for this "injustice" to be stopped and that the ousted president be reinstated. However, the Wall Street Journal reports that the "president" was constitutionally replaced as a result of his own malfeasance, trying to extend his term-limited term by holding some form of kangaroo court referendum. Somebody is lying! Who is it? WHY?
Global warming - somebody is lying - who is it? Health care in the US - somebody is lying - who is it? In my book, global warming is total hooey. The earth has not warmed in 10 years. I believe that God made this earth and that no human can affect what God made. It's that simple. Besides, the "science" does not support the global warming claims. It is all hysteria and modelling. Folks, this cap and trade stuff is potentially devastating to you and I. Think about it - the pres has said it was his intention to increase the prices you pay for gas, electricity, natural gas and coal by 100%. Think of how those costs will make everything you buy cost more. More to run factories, more to deliver goods, more to do ANYTHING.
Health care - I read reports where 80% of the US public likes their health care. If 80% likes it, why mess with it? It's all about power and money. They say that we have a problem - let's let the US government fix it. Like they do such a good job at anything? They run a darn good military and created a nice interstate system, but besides that, I can't think of too many things the federal government does so well. I'll put my faith in the common man and private industry.
Who is telling the truth and what is their intention?
Global warming - somebody is lying - who is it? Health care in the US - somebody is lying - who is it? In my book, global warming is total hooey. The earth has not warmed in 10 years. I believe that God made this earth and that no human can affect what God made. It's that simple. Besides, the "science" does not support the global warming claims. It is all hysteria and modelling. Folks, this cap and trade stuff is potentially devastating to you and I. Think about it - the pres has said it was his intention to increase the prices you pay for gas, electricity, natural gas and coal by 100%. Think of how those costs will make everything you buy cost more. More to run factories, more to deliver goods, more to do ANYTHING.
Health care - I read reports where 80% of the US public likes their health care. If 80% likes it, why mess with it? It's all about power and money. They say that we have a problem - let's let the US government fix it. Like they do such a good job at anything? They run a darn good military and created a nice interstate system, but besides that, I can't think of too many things the federal government does so well. I'll put my faith in the common man and private industry.
Who is telling the truth and what is their intention?
First post
My wife has been on me for months to start a blog and put some of my life experience and lessons "out there" to help someone through a tough spot in life.
I am a male, nearly 50, and in the 9th year of my 2nd marriage. A very good and personally satisfying marriage. I am a Christian, having found Jesus 6 years ago after a lifetime of failing to understand Jesus' saving Grace is available to us all for the asking. For any religious skeptics - I've been there and been a denier in my lifetime. At this point, it is this simple to me - when you explain the magnificent design of human DNA, RNA or reproduction, the dizzying variety of life on this planet, the weather, seasons, gravity and a multitude of other things we encounter in everyday life in terms other than a perfect Creator, I will listen. If you have no explanation FOR EVERYTHING, then I consider mine better and settled. I have one answer for everything - God did it. When you can give me such a powerful, yet simple explanation, I will listen.
Being a Christian, I know how flawed I am. We are imperfect beings and must try every day to get better. I do, but I fail and take steps back before moving forward again. I am a better person now than I ever have been and I know it is because the Lord shines through the old me.
I am a southerner, recipient of bachelors and post baccalaureate degrees. Husband, father, servant, teacher. Proud to have a job and work with the people I work with.
I have 4 wonderful kids - two I was blessed to father, and two I am proud to call step or "bonus" children. Man, I have lots of thoughts and lessons in the realm of parenting and step-parenting. That is one of the primary reasons for putting some of these thoughts "out there". Just like having kids, there is no manual for step-parenting or 2nd marriages. We have learned lots of lessons in our 9 years and if I can help someone through a situation with their kids or marriage, I will have done something. Two of the kids just finished their first year of college, the other two are in high school. They are all great kids, very different and all with their own strengths and weaknesses. I love 'em all!
Holiday weekend is coming up. We are having friends over to celebrate with us. Gonna be hot! More to come......
I am a male, nearly 50, and in the 9th year of my 2nd marriage. A very good and personally satisfying marriage. I am a Christian, having found Jesus 6 years ago after a lifetime of failing to understand Jesus' saving Grace is available to us all for the asking. For any religious skeptics - I've been there and been a denier in my lifetime. At this point, it is this simple to me - when you explain the magnificent design of human DNA, RNA or reproduction, the dizzying variety of life on this planet, the weather, seasons, gravity and a multitude of other things we encounter in everyday life in terms other than a perfect Creator, I will listen. If you have no explanation FOR EVERYTHING, then I consider mine better and settled. I have one answer for everything - God did it. When you can give me such a powerful, yet simple explanation, I will listen.
Being a Christian, I know how flawed I am. We are imperfect beings and must try every day to get better. I do, but I fail and take steps back before moving forward again. I am a better person now than I ever have been and I know it is because the Lord shines through the old me.
I am a southerner, recipient of bachelors and post baccalaureate degrees. Husband, father, servant, teacher. Proud to have a job and work with the people I work with.
I have 4 wonderful kids - two I was blessed to father, and two I am proud to call step or "bonus" children. Man, I have lots of thoughts and lessons in the realm of parenting and step-parenting. That is one of the primary reasons for putting some of these thoughts "out there". Just like having kids, there is no manual for step-parenting or 2nd marriages. We have learned lots of lessons in our 9 years and if I can help someone through a situation with their kids or marriage, I will have done something. Two of the kids just finished their first year of college, the other two are in high school. They are all great kids, very different and all with their own strengths and weaknesses. I love 'em all!
Holiday weekend is coming up. We are having friends over to celebrate with us. Gonna be hot! More to come......
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