Your step kids are not your kids. They are the product of your spouse and someone else who are their parents. You are a step parent. Your dreams, goals and expectations do not apply to your step kids. (OK - there are some out there who are filling a role as a parent due to the absence of a parent - you are exempt from this post!) My experience says that it is OK to set "house rules" that everyone in the house abides by such as cleaning up and the like. However, most rules should be set and enforced by the parent, not the step-parent. In the case of differing rules for step-siblings in the same household, I just tell my kids that they are my kids and my rules apply. For the most part, they have accepted that explanation.
Be a friend to your step child. Don't seek out pro's and con's about your kids versus your step kids. Accept them all as they are and love them as they are.
You will save yourself a lot of controversy, headache and heartache if you follow these simple rules. Ask me if you have any questions!
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